By Kiara Windrider
One area we are beginning to experience this Shift is in the arena of human relationship. This applies to all forms of relationships, yet I would like to share some insights here particularly regarding romantic partnerships and sexuality, since this is an issue that pretty much everyone these days seems to be dealing with.
Relationship paradigms are changing. When I am in touch with my essence, I realize I am no longer seeking to be with somebody for any of the old reasons — to make me feel happy, fulfilled, or alive — but someone who can partner with me in the task of creating a new world together. I don’t need to possess, own, or control another person. I regard them as free to live their divine destiny as completely as possible. I don’t even need to define what the relationship is about. I simply bless and honor the soul connection that exists and let it unfold and change with the seasons.
This isn’t always easy. We are caught between the old and the new. We are constantly dealing with old fears, insecurities, jealousies, and dysfunctional patterns. We grapple with our expectations of ourselves and our partners, as well as the expectations from the world around us. We haven’t truly created viable new models yet. It could be that there aren’t any defined models to create anyway, just a process of listening to our hearts in each moment and trusting an evolutionary impulse that doesn’t always make sense to our conditioned minds.
When I reflect on what kind of new paradigms we can create together, I think of the futuristic novel by Thea Alexander titled 2150 AD. It speaks of an entire society built on a sense of vibrational resonance rather than the guilt-ridden, convoluted, social conditioning that drives us today.
There is the recognition that we travel in soul groups and we find our sense of belongingness within this pod consciousness. We are not looking for a partner to magically fulfill every need we have. We instead ask ourselves what we can give to rather than receive from each other. In this context, relationships and sex are a means for deeper communion with the whole. The more unconditionally loving we are, the more fulfilled we each can be within this pod consciousness.
In the society of 2150 AD, people have learned to move beyond the competitive model based on survival of self into a pod consciousness — where they derive their sense of identity from the entire soul group. There is the recognition that our highest joy is to support each other’s highest joy. Nobody owns or controls anybody else because other is not separate from self. There is no need for jealousy or possessiveness because there is no sense of ownership. And children are raised by the entire community, honoring each other for their unique contribution to the whole.
Is this a realistic model for us today?
I believe that the human species is in the midst of making an evolutionary leap into the universal human — from the animal human to the divine human. The paradigm shift taking place in relationships today is a response to this evolutionary impulse. The more attuned we are to this impulse, the more we will be called to brave these uncharted waters. Each person’s journey of relationship can be absolutely unique. It may not even be about creating an alternative model of relationship but about learning what it means to live from our hearts in each moment and to trust our unique process based on our own attunement to the emerging divine human. It is a process of maturity that grows from the inside out.
I attended a lecture by shamanic astrologer Daniel Giamario many years ago on Hawaii. Giamario lectured on the shift from a Cancer-Capricorn axis of relationship to a Leo-Aquarian axis of relationship. This type of relationship paradigm shift characterized the Sixties revolution.
The energetic signature of the astrological sign of Cancer concerns home and family; Capricorn, its complement, concerns security and stability. This was the ideal of the nuclear family — the task of raising children took precedence over everything else. Relationships were meant to last a lifetime. The couple referred to each other as their other half. Each person’s role in the family was well defined.
Then came the shift to the Leo-Aquarius paradigm. Leo is about freedom and individuality, breaking free of personal limits. Aquarius is about expanding boundaries, moving beyond the nuclear family to the global family. This was the “free love” generation, which eventually settled into the multiplicity of relational forms we encounter today.
The purpose of relationship here was no longer to simply raise a family but to discover personal fulfillment. We began to find that it wasn’t quite so easy to balance personal fulfillment and family obligation. Permanent monogamous relationships became increasingly rare. Divorce and serial monogamy became common as did experimentation with various levels of polygamy.
An intense need for self-understanding in a social context emerged as we moved closer to the Aquarian age, which meanwhile gave rise to an explosion of the new consciousness paradigm. A multitude of psychotherapeutic models and self-help practices surfaced to help people and their relationships.
Much of the struggle and heartache in human relationships seems to be based on the apparent clash between these two relationship models. But it seems to me there is a third model emerging now — a Virgo-Pisces paradigm — which may hold the key to balance and wholeness.
The characteristics of Virgo include selflessness and service, while Pisces is about spiritual transcendence and soul connection. As we step into a new age of human relationship based on an evolutionary shift into the divine human, we are beginning to see a new paradigm of relationship. I call this new paradigm relationshift.
This is what I feel the futuristic society of 2150 AD were practicing. It is an ideal that we can begin to model today. Such relationships are built on a foundation of soul resonance. They are based on the recognition that we travel in soul groups rather than as separate individuals. The more connected we are with our own soul resonance, the easier we recognize others in our soul pods. And as we connect with our soul pods, our growth and value comes from how much we can give to each other. There are no fixed forms, just the movement of life in accordance with the constant guidance of our souls.
Inevitably, as long as subconscious tendencies of ancient trauma remain within our cellular bodies, we might find ourselves experiencing moments of jealousy, possessiveness, fear, loss and pain. This becomes the gateway to our own spiritual enlightenment as we recognize that there is nothing we can ever lose once we are connected with the higher resonance of the soul pod. The outer beloved becomes a symbol of our inner beloved. Feelings of separation give way to the experience of soul unity and unconditional love.
How many of us have craved for our ultimate soul mates, or twin flames, as the case may be? How many of us have refrained from fully engaging in the relationships of our lives in this elusive search for the ultimate missing half of our soul that would make our lives forever complete?
Perhaps some of us have been fortunate enough to find this “perfect” partner, or have simply been willing to live fully in the present moment. But for those of us who have lost ourselves in elusive fantasies, could we be looking for our own inner beloveds reflected in each face that we encounter in the world around us?
Once we come into this recognition, we are ready to move into a third phase of relationship. This is where dependencies and co-dependencies end and relationshift begins. This is where each relationship in our lives, no matter what form, becomes a gateway to the discovery of our own true face.
The three models of relationship I have described above are not mutually exclusive. I may choose to be in relationshift with someone that lasts a lifetime; or, I may choose never to commit to any one person. I may choose to have children or not. I may be in an open relationship, a homosexual relationship, endure a string of partners, or remain celibate. The forms are not important. What matters is that we are open to the flow of love through our souls, finding its most natural expression with each person we meet without judgments or fear.
As we move into this time of the Great Shift, our human biology is undergoing a change as well. As we become adept at shifting through dimensions, we may not need to bring children into this world through sexual means.
Sexuality would no longer then be coupled with an overriding instinct for species propagation with all the darker elements that tend to go with it in these times. It may be easier then to simply live from a place of soul contact — without walls and without fears — as in Thea Alexander’s utopian vision of the future.
Going through these stages has been a long journey of discovery for me. It has been sometimes immensely fulfilling and sometimes sad and lonely, even heartbreaking. My close friends sometimes tell me I am not always good with receiving. Maybe my childhood patterns and conditioning guide me to downplay my own needs for personal happiness. I, in turn, justify my stance that planetary wellbeing is more important. This can even lead to a bit of a martyr complex — other people’s needs consistently become more important than my own.
However, I am beginning to realize that the two cannot be separated anymore. Service does not mean martyrdom. As a Pisces my tendency is to use transcendence as an escape from engaging fully in my own humanness. I have used my willingness to serve the planet as a distraction from being aware of my own needs and feelings. Oftentimes I have neglected my physical body or pushed myself too hard while denying sensory pleasures or joy.
The Virgo-Pisces axis is about loving my neighbor as myself. If I cannot love my partner, I cannot love myself. But equally, if I do not truly love myself, I cannot love my partner either. In relationshift, we learn to receive as much as to give. We learn to experience personal fulfillment and joy as much as to hold space for another’s. Giving and receiving, service and joy become two faces of the same experience of oneness.
To love unconditionally we make no distinction between self, partner, and planet, for we are all part of the web of life together. The experience of joy is the highest expression of our divinity. Relationshift is a gateway towards this dance of the soul.
A new paradigm based on unconditional pod consciousness cannot be imposed from the outside. It is something that must emerge from within (which is why it can sometimes be so confusing). It is a process of breaking out of our old emotional and societal conditioning, and requires a great deal of awareness, self-respect, and trust in the process of life.
We will likely make many mistakes along the way. We will vacillate between the new paradigm and the old. In learning to love another more fully, we are learning to love ourselves more fully. We are unraveling millennia of deep conditioning in the process. Ultimately, it is only as we acknowledge our deep soul as the inner beloved we have been seeking all along that we can truly love our partners, our children, our neighbors, our friends. Finally, we can extend this to the entire human and planetary family.